It’s that time of the year again. Eastern Cape is chomping at the bit ready to send it’s young and fittest to yet another session of man-making foreskin annihilation session. Imagine a production line to the abattoir amidst much fanfare. Like lambs to the slaughterhouse the blanket clad juveniles are led to their respective bomas in an air of jubilation, anxiety and dare I say not without a hint of self importance.
There are many peoples around the world that practice ceremonial circumcision. For many it’s just a milestone where the community welcomes it’s young men to “real” manhood and others purely for hygiene purposes.
It is this very same circumcision that other peoples have taken to heart and is the defining mark between them and other people read lesser beings. If current propaganda and dogma is anything to go by you’d be forgiven if you thought male circumcision was a jewish, muslim, certain school of christian thought, xhosa or sotho privilege. The old testament of the bible which I believe many jewish people believe in and always open to interpretation by christians states in no unequivocal terms in chapter 17 of Genesis “ 9 Then God said to Abraham, “ As for you, you must keep my covenant, you and your descendants after you for the generations to come. 10 This is my covenant with you and your descendants after you, the covenant you are to keep: Every male among you shall be circumcised. 11 You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and you. 12 For the generations to come every male among you who is eight days old must be circumcised, including those born in your household or bought with money from a foreigner—those who are not your offspring. 13 Whether born in your household or bought with your money, they must be circumcised. My covenant in your flesh is to be an everlasting covenant. 14 Any uncircumcised male, who has not been circumcised in the flesh, will be cut off from his people; he has broken my covenant.”
Similar sentiment is also found in the islamic hadith though the silence of an explicit instruction from the muslim god in the quran is notably loud. All in all there’s a whole lot of people out there who take much pride and ownership of circumcision a.k.a genital mutilation in other quarters. No one group of people or culture has ownership rights of foreskin removal. It’s hilarious actually that many religious folk are loathe to the concept of physical reconstruction aesthetic or otherwise but would gladly slice of a piece of their phallus and by that they’re suddenly a few degrees better than joe public who believes differently.
*End of Part 1*
Coming up next in the Much Ado About The Foreskin: Lost In Translation
Lately there’s a lot of clichéd, cheesy and melodramatic nonsense that read like grade 10 essays on facebook. Often it would be some sad soppy story that according to the foreword is going to tug at one’s heart strings bla bla bla fish paste.
Anywho this wildly dramatic tale that invariably involves blood guts and gore, the occult and throw in some grotesque tumor for good measure will be told with the plot predictably leading to some incantation in the name of Jesus. The authority at which the author commands blessings upon those who “share” or “like” this fantastic trip is awe inspiring. Disturbing yes but still inspires much awe.
Most importantly what I get from it is somebody in need of validation of own belief.
And another thing
What’s this I hear of blasphemy laws in some countries?
I don’t get this. Shouldn’t deities be given their own chance to deal with “sinners?” Kanti what is judgment day and other exotic tortures that come with it for? Why can’t people be just chilled in their own beliefs and leave others to their own perdition without the burning desire to drag others with? I’m sure if god, allah, krishna and and and were offended by a particular snub it is within their power to address the situation expeditiously. To watch indifferently as their creation tear each other apart on their behalf makes me imagine one of the following scenarios: they must be in their respective heavens or paradises thinking “wtf are they on about?” or there’s much ado about nothing. I guess every convert is another validation stamp in what you believe. Those that “blaspheme” challenge the very core of that belief.
Why should people of any faith huff and puff over “blasphemy?” Blasphemy is relative for crying out loud.
In retrospect it’s amazing how much nonsense, gibberish and balderdash AND absolute bollocks(for good measure) I swallowed unquestioningly. Noah and his fantastic barge is one such case.
It would seem as if the entire history of mankind and the world as we know it is shaped and influenced by actions of middle eastern geriatrics with varying degrees of dementia and some possibly consuming hallucinogenics for recreation. From Abraham(he of infanticide tendencies) to Moses(the guy who struck up a conversation with the possible beginning of a veld fire) Jacob(the animosity between the Jews and Palestinians can possibly be traced back to him) to Elijah(apparently the only man ever to ascend to “heaven” live in realtime). The guest list at the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party in the dessert would not be complete without good old Noah.
Noah is a very important man you see. He represents significant strides and innovation in the fields of communication and engineering for a hundred and something year old geezer who lived two milennia ago. Noah’s story is of significant ecological and climatology interests as well I would presume.
If popular legend is to be believed(and it should for fear of being an amber in a screaming human bonfire while everybody else plays a harp while stroking a lion) the world is eternally grateful to uncle Noah for the thousands of species of fauna that populate the planet what with him saving two of each and all. Happy days in Heteroville.
So how big was this world that Noah was supposed to have warned of the wrath of an invisible power who communicated in booming voices, possibly bolts of lightning and burning bushes and had a penchant for throwing random disasters when displeased by his free-willed creation? How much time would he need to warn his people of the imminent toy throwing session and what method did he use? Smoke signals to reach Europe in the middle of a sand storm? What universal language did he use to reach his divinely appointed constituency? This was before the time of the pentecost and the euphoric outbursts in a plethora of tongues so how exactly was this message communicated. Doesn’t seem fair to find one seafood at the bottom of an ocean because an old man given to raucous drunken displays spoke a language only understood himself and his people.
Legend has it the people thought of Noah dilly (as would any rational person) and laughed at him and heeded not his warning. Later when the sky pissed down seriously legend has it was too late for the wretched humanity.
Noah set the benchmark for ship building. This was a flood of note that should have annihilated the planet and yet Noah’s boat withstood the punishment and somehow managed to stay in one place. I stand to be corrected but I don’t hear of Noah and his precious cargo of all life in the planet landing in some strange world.
Speaking of Noah’s precious cargo the image of Noah coaxing species that is only found in the Amazon to make the pilgrimage to a boat in the middle of the dessert with it’s breeding partner is priceless. If it took just two animals to bring to life an entire species the rhino has a chance.
The masterpiece to the story has to be the same god who’s cleansed the world via torrential rains changing his mind on how he plans to destroy his creation next time and incredibly opts for scorched earth and all in it. Trial and error at the torture chamber.
Did the Floods destroy the whole world or parts of it?
This story is narrated repeatedly by preachers with that same air of assuredness one has when convinced of an undeniable scientific fact. I have not heard a single preacher who was willing to concede that Noah’s tale was possibly allegorical(read mythological) because if it is to be taken at face value then it is plain nonsense and we should be ashamed we’re shoveling this down children’s minds. Poor children don’t stand a chance when exposed to such tyranny and mass murder as soon as they can crawl to sabbath or sunday school or say amen. Somebody say amen!
It’s been a while now but I just can’t seem to get over you
It didn’t take you long though
After all you got over me while you were still with me you fart
Many times had I just about debased myself, gave up personal independence and pandered to your whims in the misguided belief I was compromising. Truth of the matter I was just too grateful to have you. In quite a fucked up twist you were an answer to every emotional fear I ever had and the bringing to life of every insecurity ever to riddle my psyche. The betrayals, disappointments and those annoying moments where I had to suffer your petulant anal retentive two year old baby tendencies. Aaaaaaargh you were such administration. It was the glimpses of the You that I had fallen in love with that kept me in what was clearly a toxic cesspool. The You that I had fallen in love with would make random cameo appearances much to the raucous applause of my love sick emotions and the only thing left was for me was to wag my furry tail. Infatuation doesn’t last this long does it? Well since you couldn’t reciprocate my affections how about we just jump in the sack the next time we meet…and the next…and the next
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.
Click here to see the complete report.
They sat there in the middle of the dark room weeping, clinging to each other for the temporary comfort that they both knew only they could give.
The quite sobs and the occasional gasp came from a dark place buried deep in their souls; a place of longing, desperation, hopelessness and anguish.
They both willed time to stand still as the world around them ceased to exist.
Over and over they had declared their love for each other in pained but loud silence, for the other knew how the other felt.
Theirs was a lost cause doomed from inception, and they knew it.
For a moment they broke the embrace and looked into each other’s eyes. It was too much. The pain he saw in his eyes, the pleas from his eyes….the love was tangible. As tangible as all the challenges that led to their parting of ways. Once fate had decided for them there was no going back. This was it, the universe had conspired.
The silence was building to an ear splitting crescendo.
He finally found the courage to speak, a trembling whisper which one had to strain to hear over the drum that was his beating heart. In that dark room they were one; he and him. He for him and him for him.
His lips almost touching his ear, throat dry and cracking,”It’s not right. It’s just not right but I understand.” The hopelessness in his voice hit him like a vicious punch in his gut and he doubled in pain but his voice had left him and so had the courage and will to find it.
“I love you too much to hold on in the face of our situation. I’m thankful for knowing you, for laughing with you and for crying with you. I’m glad we met. Please tell me that you love me just one more time and we can go our separate ways. It’s not an oxymoron it’s just an insane and unstable heart and mind on it’s own mission. I want to squeeze you. I want to weep with you. It flatters me in no small measure that you’re fond of me. I don’t know how this will help but promise never to forget me. I wish you love, health and happiness. I love you. I do not know if I will always love you this way but I will always love and care for you. It’s ok, it’s not our fault.”
As he whispered in his ear, caressing his back he felt an eerie calm over him, the same calm he felt as his father’s casket had been lowered to the ground. A bitter acceptance almost.
At last he found his voice. “I have always loved you. I have always cared for you. I have always tried to protect your heart. If I stay you WILL get hurt and I could never forgive or live with myself. I WILL love you from a distance, a safe distance. Forgive me please. My peace will come with your forgiveness”
“There’s nothing to forgive but for peace sake I forgive you wholeheartedly”
He stood up, picked his car keys and without looking back vanished into the night.