Dear Dr Verwoerd

30 Apr

Hey doc I hope you can find a moment to stop turning in your grave and read this, my letter. I am well aware that us kaf…rs look exactly the same but you can be assured I’m not that pesky nuisance of a native Nelson whats-his-face.
I think sir, that Nina Simone(some American negro you might never have heard of) had you in mind when she sang about good intentions and being misunderstood.
I refuse to believe that a handsome and charming man such as yourself could be the spawn of Lucifer as most would have us believe.
Yes sir I complimented you on your dapper looks and incredibly sexy hairstyle. Please find it in your heart to forgive the queer overtures but I can assure you it’s pure observation. Pure and not Queer….another reason why I wish Tsafendas had not done a job on you. Far too many queers prancing about the vaderland like they owned the place. I have often prayed to Onse Here(you know the guy that invented the NG Kerk) to be quick with them lightning bolts but the toy-toying of them kaf…drowns out my prayers. I do however believe that if you were still around my prayers would have been heard much quicker, what with you being siblings with the messiah and all.
Sir the vaderland has gone to the dogs with the rabid lot in parliament.
The demise of that wonderful system(perfection itself) of apartheid has seen an unprecedented rise in the coloured population with races mating with gay abandon. This cross pollination is an abomination. Your white daughters are no longer safe from the insatiable lust of them natives.
Let’s not even mention places of worship. Your skin would crawl sir had you to witness scores of worshipers of different races under the same roof! Even heaven must be confused, I mean we all know God only speaks Afrikaans and Dutch and on a good day a smattering of English.
The land which your ancestors built and cultivated from nothing is now ruled by the very people you’ve worked so tirelessly to silence.
There’s absolutely no notion for order and lawlessness thrives. The sanctity of white suburbs and schools and other white institutions has been desecrated by the advent of bus loads of natives who have forgotten that their place is in the kitchen preparing a meal your children and mixing your g&t for you kind sir.
I am on your side sir. I cannot think of a more original and logical arrangement like Separate Development. Die Here knows you had your heart in the right place.
You were simply introducing order in what your honourable ancestors(bless them) had begun. I mean really now, take over the land and cage them, what was so hard to understand? There is absolutely nothing wrong with preventing the purity of the arian race in their abducted…ag I mean adoptive land.
Bantu Education I must say,was a stroke of genius. Much credit to you sir. Had the British, the French and Portuguese followed your example they would have enjoyed a longer stay in Africa, but noooo they had to educate these natives. See where that got them? They practically had to paddle to the shore.
Not you sir. Your system was such a well oiled machine that it’s only been eighteen years into the new system that has you doing somersaults in your grave.
And then there’s the liberal whites. What on earth does that mean I’m sure you’re wondering sir? Let us wonder along together.
The liberal white is that thorn on your milky white backside pioneered by among others that annoying Suzman woman. These are the people who never appreciated the sacrifice you and others before you and many other after you made for the volk.
To add insult to injury they are changing street names and yes your name is the first to go. Pretoria, that bastille of Afrikanerdom now sounds could be Soshanguve or Kwamashu for all the obscure black names that litter the streets.
I’m well aware meneer that this is too much grief and sadness to bear in our sitting(well in your case lying) so I will leave you now to your somersaults. Please pass my kind regards to ET and high five the Groot Krokodil for me.
South Africa is just not the same without you.

Yours sincerely
Vk ka Ntwana

Ps please note I’m neither related nor friends with any of these people in power today so if you would like to organize a visitation of god upon them, please knock yourself out, if you will pardon the tacky pun.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.


11 Responses to “Dear Dr Verwoerd”

  1. spanela April 30, 2012 at 10:26 pm #

    For a second there I thought I was reading a letter from Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks

    • vukile May 1, 2012 at 7:42 am #

      Lol I don’t know the Boondocks that well hey suffice to say they are dysfunctional. *wink*

  2. raj May 1, 2012 at 12:23 pm #

    Shame on you. You are so blinded by your hatred for the afrikaner and his apartheid regime that u cannot see the blatant evils of the current government. Go on keep living in the past and don’t dare try looking into the future of your beloved mzansi. Cos what u will see might shock u to death. Then u can join verwoed and his cronies and have a great political orgy celebrating your successful destruction of a perfectly good country.


  3. Langa May 1, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    p.p.s and some of your white sons are marrying our black sons! vuka ekufeni Dokotela liyabhubha!

  4. spanela May 1, 2012 at 12:44 pm #

    So Raj, are you saying we should salute the apartheid regime?

    • raj May 1, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

      Spanela……are u so blinded too that you actually read and didn’t care to comprehend my comment. how the hell did you arrive at the conclusion that my comment warrants yours ; mine or anybody’s salutation of the apartheid regime. WAKE UP MAN ….I openly admonish both the apartheid and the current governments.

      • spanela May 1, 2012 at 1:17 pm #

        Well Raj earlier you mentioned the evils of the current government, when you were writing that did you consider the evils of the apartheid government? The only reason you have a problem with me, my blackness and the current government is because we are no longer the underdogs and that just cuts like a knife doesn’t it?

      • raj May 1, 2012 at 3:31 pm #

        My dear learned Spanela would u perhaps be able to tell me the difference between two similar grains of sand.

    • vukile May 1, 2012 at 1:01 pm #

      Dear Raj
      Thank you for taking time to read my blog and I appreciate your response. I do however feel I need to ask what are you on about?(The temptation to ask what you are on notwithstanding) May I suggest that you read again, slowly this time and get back to me. I could stand here behind cyber anonymity and trade insults with you but my mama raised me better than that.*sends virtual hugs*

      • raj May 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

        Touche’ my dear cyber friend. I suppose I induced precisely the appropriate response. Seems we both jumped out of hot oil into open flame. Wonder how much mine or your ramblings would accomplish. Happy blotting.

  5. sqomane May 9, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    Oh dear, virtual cat fights!!! What a brilliant satirical piece.

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