Single And Happy My Ass!

10 May

The biggest delusion, second only to organized religion is the idea of being single and happy at it.
If truth be told there’s nothing fun about being single and it hardly ever by choice more than circumstance.
I suspect the genesis of this delusion can be traced back to life coaches and other assorted experts(bitter lesbians, divorcees, suicidal gays and advocates of celibacy ad nauseum). Anything to dilute the searing pain of loneliness.
At this point I need to make it clear that not all single people are lonely. There’s a big difference between being alone and lonely.
At the risk of reinventing the English language I believe being “alone” one is by oneself, not in the company of another or others.
“Loneliness” on the other hand, speaks to the desire for companionship. One can and is often lonely in the company of a hundred people.

Humans are social creatures by design. You only need to look at hermits who more often than not present an array of symptoms that point to dementia.

So what is this single and happy phenomenon that’s doing the rounds lately? Are we being true to ourselves(I was hoping to stay away from cliches… honestly)?

My take is after a number of spectacular failures and aborted relationships a fatigue of sorts sets in. One simply gets tired of smooching non-transforming toads, errant damsels in most probably self-imposed distress or piecing together shattered hearts in a vain attempt to make whole wounded souls only to end up with a mosaic tragedy.

There are people such as myself, who have made a conscious decision to simply live with it. Embracing one’s solitude as it were. It’s not a choice but I’m living with it.
There comes a point when the same lies in the same predictable pattern get tedious.
The bewilderment that comes with being betrayed and deceived by those who supposedly love you can also be taken just so far.
Oh but for that sensation of independence after a break up! Exhilarating!…or is it?
Life is easier for the single because of the convenience factor. Not having to account for anything to anyone can easily give a false sense of liberty.
A single person is often complimented and congratulated on a spontaneously acquired glow, bounce or swag. It’s not always the benefits of newly found happiness that this metamorphosis can be attributed.
I believe we automatically prepare for the next encounter as soon after a hasty eulogy of the previous failed relationship.
We suddenly take care of ourselves, eat better and discover gym(or similar equivalent) which would explain the sudden glow. Back in the market but blocking all possible love interests with “I’m happily single.”

The decision(not choice) to stay single is all about self preservation…let’s not get it twisted.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.


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